i picked myself up
june 09, 2009

today i broke a streak of 3 straight days of
no vomiting and no nausea. i was so ecstatic after the first day, but i didn't want to write about it because i felt like i might jinx it. it came back today, but not as strong. i'm just so happy that i've been able to eat in the past 3 days. it feels so good.

in the past week within the immediate circle of my family and friends ... there's been a suicide, divorce, depression, and serious illness.

i've been occupying myself as much as possible to keep my mind from eating my heart alive. doing what i can for the people i love. today was the first day i slipped and felt weak in a long while. but i picked myself up.

i got an interesting anonymous question in my question box after my last post:

how tall is happiness?

and i guess my answer is: however tall you are when you can stand up on your own two feet

i'm still getting up.

i have a lot to write about ... so many "profound" emotional experiences for me in the past month ... so much to grow from, but i think i'll give it some time to settle in.

passion subscribed to my youtube today and sent me a really kind message. for some reason, it feels like such a huge boost in motivation. i recently made a video thanking all of my new subscribers and especially my old subscribers ... i feel so blessed that people are willing to listen to what my heart has to sing

there are so many little things that get me through the days. despite everything, i'm becoming whole again