i hope you're there
may 07, 2009

i could have all the time in the world and never change.
if my flaws remain unaddressed, then my pain will undoubtedly stay the same.
expecting pain to subside over time without addressing at least that portion of the hurt that i've caused myself is ridiculous
it's like laying down brick perfectly on a crooked foundation
or letting a broken bone heal without a cast
to fix it you need to break it again
realign and readjust and repeat the waiting process
refusing to take an honest look in the mirror is like healing without a cast
pointless

i've learned this the hard way
and still i've not learned it completely
life only gives you so many chances
and you won't learn something new
until you've made up for the mistakes .
that you've too casually overlooked
by "you" i mean me.

i wish i'd been smart enough
to grow without losing
to know better without possessing regrets
because when i see myself as being a better man than what i was
even if i'm not completely there yet
of all people i'd want to be that for
of all people i'd want to show my heart to
it's you

regardless if you choose not to see it
regardless if you never feel it again

the day that i can be what i see is possible in my heart
i'll have you to thank