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U-turn "The last night I was with you, you walked me to my apartment just like tonight. You said, 'We're headed in different directions.'" She had her arm around him - tugging at his waist for him to turn around. He faced the other way, pretending to be asleep. "I cried when you said that," she continued, giving up on her efforts to make him look at her. "So you said not to worry because the 'paths in our lives aren't straight lines' - that they'd cross again. A week later I called you and told you I didn't care - I didn't want to have to wait for that. You stopped answering my calls." She loosened her grip on his waist. "I should show you what it's like," she said, wishing she could say it more convincingly. "You leave on your own terms and you don't even think of me. You act like you can just come back, as if I need you!" He felt the forceful shoves on his back as if she were honestly trying to push him off the bed. "She's wrong," he thought to himself - eyes still closed in a weakening attempt to feign sleep. He had done his best to avoid this conversation all night - though now, he was not convinced his reasons for doing so were satisfactory. "I'm just not good with words," he had told himself. "I hate fighting. She'll have understood by now ..." The shoves on his back had stopped for some time now, but her arm had not returned around his waist. She had moved away from him. The room was completely silent but both held the same fear that their thoughts would fill the room. How long had it been now that they had been apart? They were staring in different directions. The silence broke with the rustling of sheets. She felt it - the same fear that had compelled her to stand up after him in the coffee shop. "He's leaving again," she thought to herself, but this time she wouldn't chase after him. She refused to turn around - to call out, "Don't go." She had too much pride. She had too much fear. She was quiet. She was crying. His arm moved slowly at first, mindful that it might be pushed away, but it wrapped surely around her waist. An unbearable silence defined the distance between them. "I love you." She pretended to be asleep. ----------------------------------- sap, i know. i'm sorry. this is a continuation of the last entry in case you're wondering ...
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